in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
