I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
