Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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