I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
