last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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