Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
