Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
