we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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