No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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