Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
