just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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