We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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