i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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