I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
