Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
There's even glitter on my cock...
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