I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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