I'm really into asian looking animals
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize