that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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