dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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