Your tits are I can't wait for
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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