You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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