do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i think my mom watched the whole time
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
