We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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