Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
