The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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