she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
