I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
