I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
