i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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