yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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