I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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