At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My breasts were aching with rage.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
