it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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