How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
