All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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