oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Randomize
