There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
