Where is the hickey?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize