there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
