I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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