goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
