This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
they're like a gay fantastic four
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Panties = found
Randomize