I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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