Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
