no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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