Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You know, be my cock's hype man.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
