after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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