one two three fourrrrnication!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize