hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
