Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
