ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
