Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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