wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My hand turned me down
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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