i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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