have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
God I need to hump something, right now.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
