it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
