Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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