I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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