Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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