i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
