May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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