Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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