just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
