don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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