It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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