Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
worst night to have a conscience
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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