I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
