Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
