why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
