You just made me feel so damn special
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
nutella sex= disaster
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Randomize
